Quahog Security

Mike "The Wolf Fish" Belcher
Years on Quahog Security: 5 years
Side Job: Comcast Business Class 
My journey with Doug:  I am what most people call a “problem solver,” someone who comes in and handles a situation whatever it may be. When Doug came out of hiding in 2009, I got the call from the folks at the Cape Cod Chamber to handle a special job. They had already arranged the car, the location and all the specifics of their event, but they needed someone who would take a bullet, or a rake, to protect the little soothsayer.  From that time on, I have been Doug’s right hand man. You may not always see me, but I’m always there. I promise you that.


Thomas “T-Bone” Hughes
Years on Quahog Security:
7 years
Side Job: The Quahog Republic
His journey with Doug:  The security gig with Doug was a perfect fit with my every day role, which is to serve and protect the esteemed Secretary General of Quahog Republic, Johnny Quahog.  As you know, Johnny is THE only person known to man who can communicate with Doug, which makes him invaluable to Doug. This guy's a pretty big deal. I would say one of the most challenging parts of my job is keeping Doug and Johnny’s fans at bay. Fame has made both of them rather appealing to the ladies...when Johnny comes out in that feathered hat and Doug arrives on his red pillow perch, you should see them all swoon!


Ted “Lead Dog” Murphy
Years on Quahog Security:
5 years
Side Job: Cape Cod author
His journey with Doug: My nickname "Lead Dog" came from Pop sensation Tiffany, while I was head of security during her "The Beautiful You: Celebrating The Good Life Shopping Mall Tour '87". Unfortunately, in a mall in Akron, Ohio, Tiffany got showered with an Orange Julius by an angry Debbie Gibson fan which resulted in me losing both my job and my dignity. So, like the famous mollusk I now protect, I went underground. But a call from Johnny Quahog has given me a second chance to do what I love to do best - protect the celebrities that make our miserable lives a brighter place to live.


Chris "The Mussel" KazarianQuahog Security
Years on Quahog Security:
4 years
Side Job:  Wingman to Skippy Harris
His journey with Doug: I’ve always been a bit of a lone wolf; I play by my own rules. When someone says “jump”, I duck. This is why the industry’s greats – John Tesh, Jay Z and Gallagher – have called on me to protect them time and time again. But that wild streak has all too often gotten me into trouble, like the time I wrestled a masked intruder to the ground only to discover it was the celebrity I was sworn to protect – Clay Aiken – returning from a masquerade ball at Justin Bieber’s home. Yeah, that got me fired. But Johnny Quahog saw past these types of indiscretions when I was at the lowest of the low. He saved me. Now I’m paid to save him. And that makes me the luckiest non-bivalve in the world.

Davidson "The Professional" CalfeeQuahog Security
Years on Quahog Security:
3 years
Side Job: Insurance Agent - Calfee Cares!
His journey with Doug: As president of a longstanding Cape Cod insurance company, it's my job to protect people in the event of fire, flood and other natural disasters. So protecting Doug seemed like a natural extension of my everyday work. They call me "The Professional" because I live up to my name. When you see me on Quahog Security, you'll likely find me to be courteous, confident and competent in my duties. But cross that little mollusk and I will turn into your worst nightmare in two seconds flat. So why don't we just all get along?


AJ “The Littleneck” KonstantyQuahog Security
Years on Quahog Security:
3 years
Side Job: Full-time student
His journey with Doug: I am officially the youngest member of Quahog Security, having gotten the gig from my uncle, Tom "T-Bone" Hughes. Because I'm still in school, I only work Quahog security part-time in the summer months, and the 2012 Quahog Day was my inaugural debut on the security team. While some of the other members of Quahog security prefer to protect Doug through intimidation, I rely on my quick wit, street smarts and natural charm to keep Doug's fans at bay. I have even been known to break into song and dance to keep the crowds entertained if they get antsy waiting for the big guy at an appearance.

Rob “The Claw” Cummings
Years on Quahog Security:
 3 years
Side Job: C3 Design & Landscape, LLC
My journey with Doug:  I’ve been in the security “biz” for longer than I can remember, but nothing had prepared me for the call to protect Doug. A quahog that needs protection? I was used to protecting big-time celebs, so the job definitely seemed like a demotion. But that all changed when I met Doug. What can I say, the little guy’s a charmer!  After his 2009 prediction, he had become a pretty hot commodity, and everyone wanted a piece of him. The job had become too much for just "Wolf Fish" to handle, and I guess I'm a sucker for a quahog in need. I traded in my old security uniform for a pressed black suit and a shellfish rake, and I've been proudly protecting Doug ever since.

Shawn "Shark Bite” Delude
Years on Quahog Security:
 3 years
Side Job: Nauset Disposal
My journey with Doug:  My story with Doug actually goes back to when we were kids.  Not many people know this, but I was adopted by a family of fleas when I was just a baby. At the time, my father Flea Bite and Doug’s dad were both elite feeders in the ocean and on the sand. One summer day, my dad was working over this little kid as he was out digging clams on the flats…a bite here, a bite there.  As the kid pulled a beautiful clam out of the mud, my father made the perfect bite on the little bugger’s ankle and sent him running to his mom. Turns out the clam whose life he spared was Doug’s Dad, and the two have been BFFs ever since.  Following in my father’s tradition of heroism, I now protect Doug with the same good instinct and fortitude.


Ben SargentHonorary Quahog Security
Ben Sargent
Sidejob:
Celebrity chef, cookbook author and host of The Cooking Channel's "Hook, Line and Dinner"
Year Served: Captain of the Quahog Security team in 2014

 

 

 

 

Honorary Quahog Security
Chris Lambton
Sidejob: Dennis Landscaper and finalist on ABC's "The Bachelorette"
Year Served: Captain of the Quahog Security team in 2011

 

 

 

 

 

 

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